Suggestions on how to be a lonely person by ALL

[Naleena]

So for people who want to know how to become lonely, here are a few tried and true suggestions. Other lonely people can post their tips below.

1. Enjoy solitude a little too much and multiply that by a few years.
2. Have a quiet disposition from childhood so you can get bullied at an early age.
3. Become depressed.

 

[Rosebolt]

Is this a joke?

 

[EveWasFramed]

No. I think Nal is asking for input on what makes people lonely.

 

[Peaches]

end up being the "strange one" on the block, say, the only white kid in a black neighborhood or vice versa

 

[Bones]

The feeling a person does not belong in this world.

 

[9006]

No. I think Nal is asking for input on what makes people lonely.

It doesn't sound like that at all, haha.

 

[Locke]

Begin to hate yourself.
Run away from all of your problems and hide.
Disappear from the lives of everyone you used to know.
Dwell on the past as much as possible, and focus on how difficult things have become.
Hate yourself a little more, just for good measure.
Try and reach a place that can only be described as a pit of loneliness and despair.
Give up on yourself, life, people and anything else that you care about.

(Just in case its not clear, don't do any of the above, it didn't work so well for me. Climbing out of that despair pit is a lot harder than jumping into it.)

 

[Naleena]

Begin to hate yourself.
Run away from all of your problems and hide.
Disappear from the lives of everyone you used to know.
Dwell on the past as much as possible, and focus on how difficult things have become.
Hate yourself a little more, just for good measure.
Try and reach a place that can only be described as a pit of loneliness and despair.
Give up on yourself, life, people and anything else that you care about.

(Just in case its not clear, don't do any of the above, it didn't work so well for me. Climbing out of that despair pit is a lot harder than jumping into it.)

Well put! Lonliness is a process. Is like a road almost. How does one get to that place?

---

The feeling a person does not belong in this world.

That is such a sad place....especially when its for reasons you can't help.
Its like the end of the loneliness road, you come to this.

---

end up being the "strange one" on the block, say, the only white kid in a black neighborhood or vice versa

Is it being different or that makes us lonely or being told there is something wrong with being different? Or is it because being different makes one feel that they can't be understood?

 

[Locke]

Begin to hate yourself.
Run away from all of your problems and hide.
Disappear from the lives of everyone you used to know.
Dwell on the past as much as possible, and focus on how difficult things have become.
Hate yourself a little more, just for good measure.
Try and reach a place that can only be described as a pit of loneliness and despair.
Give up on yourself, life, people and anything else that you care about.

(Just in case its not clear, don't do any of the above, it didn't work so well for me. Climbing out of that despair pit is a lot harder than jumping into it.)

Well put! Lonliness is a process. Is like a road almost. How does one get to that place?

The path to loneliness is different for everyone I suppose. For me, it was my pregnant wife dying in a car accident that I still blame myself for. Its odd, last time I told someone that, it took a lot more words and effort, and that was only a week ago. I wonder if that's a sign that its getting easier.

I let all of those negative things I listed happen faster than you might think. Bitterness, self pity and anger are truly dangerous.

 

[Naleena]

The path to loneliness is different for everyone I suppose. For me, it was my pregnant wife dying in a car accident that I still blame myself for. Its odd, last time I told someone that, it took a lot more words and effort, and that was only a week ago. I wonder if that's a sign that its getting easier.

I let all of those negative things I listed happen faster than you might think. Bitterness, self pity and anger are truly dangerous.

Locke, I had no idea you had gone through such a traumatic experience. I am sorry for your loss. Its not unusual for people to want to blame themselves for things that happen. Those what ifs. I blamed myself for a suicide once. I felt if I had done more that person would be here. Thank you for being so open and sharing your heart. I am always impressed when someone has that kind of courage. I think you're right about the getting easier part. When you can talk about it, it means you are healing.

 

[Bones]

..

...

... For me, it was my pregnant wife dying in a car accident that I still blame myself for ...

 

[Naleena]

..

...

... For me, it was my pregnant wife dying in a car accident that I still blame myself for ...

Errrrr..... that looks more like a biotch slap to me...lol Good try ;P

 

[nelloy]

Begin to hate yourself.
Run away from all of your problems and hide.
Disappear from the lives of everyone you used to know.
Dwell on the past as much as possible, and focus on how difficult things have become.
Hate yourself a little more, just for good measure.
Try and reach a place that can only be described as a pit of loneliness and despair.
Give up on yourself, life, people and anything else that you care about.

(Just in case its not clear, don't do any of the above, it didn't work so well for me. Climbing out of that despair pit is a lot harder than jumping into it.)

Well put! Lonliness is a process. Is like a road almost. How does one get to that place?

---

The feeling a person does not belong in this world.

That is such a sad place....especially when its for reasons you can't help.
Its like the end of the loneliness road, you come to this.

---

end up being the "strange one" on the block, say, the only white kid in a black neighborhood or vice versa

Is it being different or that makes us lonely or being told there is something wrong with being different? Or is it because being different makes one feel that they can't be understood?

---

---

I just wrote something on another thread about being different.... I think its a combination of all of that ^^ Being different makes us feel like we are misunderstood and cannot connect with people = LONELY. Being either shunned or picked on from a young age for being different, as children and adult both do = LONELY and mostly society says different people are weird people should be avoided.

My take on what makes people lonely? Self-esteem. For whatever reason a person can a blow to their self esteem, from there its easy to spiral into thinking your worthless, stupid, fat, ugly, weird (take your pick) and self talk yourself into thinking no-one wants to know you, so you give up trying and settle for lonliness over putting yourself out there and possibly having your self -esteem shattered even more. I guess you could call it a form of self-preservation.

Begin to hate yourself.
Run away from all of your problems and hide.
Disappear from the lives of everyone you used to know.
Dwell on the past as much as possible, and focus on how difficult things have become.
Hate yourself a little more, just for good measure.
Try and reach a place that can only be described as a pit of loneliness and despair.
Give up on yourself, life, people and anything else that you care about.

(Just in case its not clear, don't do any of the above, it didn't work so well for me. Climbing out of that despair pit is a lot harder than jumping into it.)

Well put! Lonliness is a process. Is like a road almost. How does one get to that place?

The path to loneliness is different for everyone I suppose. For me, it was my pregnant wife dying in a car accident that I still blame myself for. Its odd, last time I told someone that, it took a lot more words and effort, and that was only a week ago. I wonder if that's a sign that its getting easier.

I let all of those negative things I listed happen faster than you might think. Bitterness, self pity and anger are truly dangerous.

Locke, so sorry to hear that (hugs)

 

[Naleena]

I just wrote something on another thread about being different.... I think its a combination of all of that ^^ Being different makes us feel like we are misunderstood and cannot connect with people = LONELY. Being either shunned or picked on from a young age for being different, as children and adult both do = LONELY and mostly society says different people are weird people should be avoided.
My take on what makes people lonely? Self-esteem. For whatever reason a person can a blow to their self esteem, from there its easy to spiral into thinking your worthless, stupid, fat, ugly, weird (take your pick) and self talk yourself into thinking no-one wants to know you, so you give up trying and settle for lonliness over putting yourself out there and possibly having your self -esteem shattered even more. I guess you could call it a form of self-preservation

Self preservation is a good observation. It also could be associated with fear. Where is your post? What thread was it on?

 

[I'm Not a Doctor]

For me... Nothing much has changed for 8~ years. In fact, I'm definitely around more people now, and have more friends than I did then, but I feel lonelier than ever. I'm not sure what it is, but nowadays when I'm by myself I just begin to feel very lonely all the time.

Locke, I am very sorry for what happened to you. I also lost a loved one a year ago for which I blamed myself. However, a friend told me that you can't blame yourself for death of a loved one, because you did what you thought was right at the moment. You had no intention of killing the person. Besides, I'm sure both your wife and my grandfather would be more sad to see that we're blaming ourselves for what happened.

I know it's not my place to intrude on your feelings, so I apologize if I made you angry.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Embrace the solitude and not give a hoot about anyone or anything else. Some people do enjoy being lonely. Sometimes I think I'm one.

 

[Peaches]

Begin to hate yourself.
Run away from all of your problems and hide.
Disappear from the lives of everyone you used to know.
Dwell on the past as much as possible, and focus on how difficult things have become.
Hate yourself a little more, just for good measure.
Try and reach a place that can only be described as a pit of loneliness and despair.
Give up on yourself, life, people and anything else that you care about.

(Just in case its not clear, don't do any of the above, it didn't work so well for me. Climbing out of that despair pit is a lot harder than jumping into it.)

Well put! Lonliness is a process. Is like a road almost. How does one get to that place?

---

The feeling a person does not belong in this world.

That is such a sad place....especially when its for reasons you can't help.
Its like the end of the loneliness road, you come to this.

---

end up being the "strange one" on the block, say, the only white kid in a black neighborhood or vice versa

Is it being different or that makes us lonely or being told there is something wrong with being different? Or is it because being different makes one feel that they can't be understood?

---

---

misunderstood, sure, expression becomes impossible, one's self is mute in front of unsympathetic gazes

and "wrong", guilty of something inexplicable, the less deserving one in the group, some kind of original sin, all the worst because it cannot be envisioned clearly, and as all original sins, unredeemable (and very bad for one's self esteem)

 

[ardour]

What a topic, that turns out incredibly sad.

Going by the first few posts, do all of the above, then become so paranoid and ashamed that you don't even feel comfortable looking people in the eye.

 

[Cucuboth]

* Be bullied from a young age. About everything. Your appearance. Your voice. Be called ugly no matter what you look like. Be called useless and worthless at everything you do, or even try to do. Even anything that you are good at.
* If you haven't developed different interests from others around you, do so as a way to find an escape from the bullying (which will also increase the bullying).
* Be constantly rejected and socially ostrosized. Any attempt to 'fit in' results in being laughed at (and also increases the bullying).
* Try to stop the bullying and stand up for yourself only makes it worse. Leading to being laughed at even more, and being even more socially rejected.
* Never experience affection. Physically or emotionally. Any attempt to find any will result in being laughed at even more, and yet more social rejection. Throw in people making false assumptions and jokes about your sexuality, or being told that you'll have to pay for it.
* Try and pretend to be happy, because it seems that that is what everyone else wants and expects. Which still leads to isolation and rejection, because half the people will now believe your happy being alone, and the other half will call you a 'faker' for pretending to be something your not.
* Mix in large doses of being ignored. Everywhere. Especially emotionally and sexually.

Repeat almost every day for 30+ years and counting ....

 

[LoneKiller]

No. I think Nal is asking for input on what makes people lonely.

I'm not sure, but the point of this thread might be like a chess book I read one time. It was called "How Not To Play Chess". It shows you all the things to do to lose at playing chess. Not 100% sure if that what she means though.