What do you think of Chivalry or guys that are Chivalrous?

[Cosmo]

>_>
<_<

...

Would it be less than chivalrous if I made the suggestion that several people of both genders here get into a huge Lonely Life Fight Club fist fight while I watched it all and munched popcorn and winced and dodged flying blood?

If that's wrong... then I don't wanna be right.

 

[VanillaCreme]

You know...

Here's what I think of chivalry...

I need a guy who believes in it. And here's the tricky part... I know one who is polite and has manners, but he's also an *******.

I don't get that. What's that about?

 

[jales]

So I think that we can all agree that

-chivalry is like kindness, it should be appreciated regardless of which sex it comes from (like I said in my initial post.. I really appreciated the fact that the lady stopped to open the really-hard-to-open-door for me)

-it doesnt matter if you are a male of female, being kind and attentive to those around you should be perceived as something nice.

-we are all equal, and that is not something that we need to be insecure about or something that we need to prove. A guy opening a door does not make him unequal.. because what you do can not define your equality status. Being a servant does not make you less than your master. Holding out a chair does not make you less than a female.

-being different does not make us unequal, we are all entirely different.. and just because vanilla may be stronger than me (maybe) does not make her worth more and in no way affect our status of equality.


So to me.. it still sounds like chivalry in guys is a good thing. And not something that impacts gender equality in anyway. I think chivalry in girls is great as well.

What we cant agree on is who is the stronger sex.. which doesnt really matter with respect to this thread... and in fact the question may never truly be answered. And fortasse spoke very well on my behalf so thanks.



edit: Also sorry to all the people who i offended by stating my opinion that women are weaker than men (physically of course)

 

[nerdygirl]

I know one who is polite and has manners, but he's also an *******.

I don't get that. What's that about?

You mean like how some super villains have a definite sense of decorum but are still out to destroy the world? I'm like that. I still say, "please" and "thank you", but that doesn't mean I won't crush you like a bug.

 

[Kenny]

Chivalry is about men acting like men while at the same time treating ladies like ladies.

Has anybody seen the Ladies? LOL. Where are the ladies? Hmm, I can't find them. They certainly aren't the ones bitching, attacking, disrespecting, and cussing in this thread. LMAO. I so desperately want to treat "ladies" like "ladies", but I can't find the "Ladies"!!!??? Someone help me! Pwease.

If Chivalry is dead, guess who killed it?

---

Problem is that a lot of women want to act like men with ******s.

That's fine, but you AIN'T no lady at that point. You is a FEMALE at that point.

 

[athwart]

Heh, I had forgotten about walking closest to the road. If you don't like chivalry, get married.

 

[Callie]

Chivalry is about men acting like men while at the same time treating ladies like ladies.

Has anybody seen the Ladies? LOL. Where are the ladies? Hmm, I can't find them. They certainly aren't the ones bitching, attacking, disrespecting, and cussing in this thread. LMAO. I so desperately want to treat "ladies" like "ladies", but I can't find the "Ladies"!!!??? Someone help me! Pwease.

If Chivalry is dead, guess who killed it?

---

Problem is that a lot of women want to act like men with ******s.

That's fine, but you AIN'T no lady at that point. You is a FEMALE at that point.

---

1. I never claimed to be a "lady."
2. I know quite a few MEN who would disagree with you about who should receive "chivalry"
3. That would require YOU to be a MAN.
4. Sorry if the fact that I don't back down when someone is WRONG makes me a "FEMALE."

 

[Kenny]

1. I never claimed to be a "lady."
2. I know quite a few MEN who would disagree with you about who should receive "chivalry"
3. That would require YOU to be a MAN.
4. Sorry if the fact that I don't back down when someone is WRONG makes me a "FEMALE."

Honestly, the only response I have for this is:

LOL

---

Wait, I was wrong. I have another response now that I think about it.

Here it is:

WTF???

 

[SophiaGrace]

*wonders to herself* Why am I still confused about this subject even after 9 pages worth of posts? =l

 

[Sci-Fi]

Oh wow...there was a cat fight and I missed it, damn. Was there pudding?

I agree with what Jales said, to be specific this...

-chivalry is like kindness, it should be appreciated regardless of which sex it comes from (like I said in my initial post.. I really appreciated the fact that the lady stopped to open the really-hard-to-open-door for me)

-it doesnt matter if you are a male of female, being kind and attentive to those around you should be perceived as something nice.

You know...

Here's what I think of chivalry...

I need a guy who believes in it. And here's the tricky part... I know one who is polite and has manners, but he's also an *******.

I don't get that. What's that about?

Sounds like he's trying to offset his assholeness by being polite and showing manners. See I don't get people like that, how can they be so polite and turn around and be ******** too? That works for women too, there are a few who seem so nice but turn out to be real *******. Like WTF!?! Pick one and stick with it, either be polite or be an ******* don't be both.

Chivalry isn't dead, we've just forgotten how to be respectful and mindful of others.

 

[fortasse]

Sounds like he's trying to offset his assholeness by being polite and showing manners. See I don't get people like that, how can they be so polite and turn around and be ******** too? That works for women too, there are a few who seem so nice but turn out to be real *******. Like WTF!?! Pick one and stick with it, either be polite or be an ******* don't be both.

I don't think it is a matter of someone trying to offset their less-than laudable nature. I think it may be a matter of a person being raised to act politely, but without also being raised to have decent character.

It's like when children are raised to say "sir" and "ma'am." It may sound respectful when they say it, but that doesn't mean they are respectful human beings.

Chivalry isn't dead, we've just forgotten how to be respectful and mindful of others.

This I can agree with.

*wonders to herself* Why am I still confused about this subject even after 9 pages worth of posts? =l

We got off-topic for about 3 of those pages... sorry.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Chivalry isn't dead, we've just forgotten how to be respectful and mindful of others.

This I can agree with.

The thing is, I think, if someone is truely kind and respectful of others, that that person will show it in many other ways besides chivalry (assuming chivalry is a way to express mindfulness and respect) and also will show it to anyone. If a man is only respectful and mindful to women and is hurtful and rude towards men & children, then, that would conflict with him being seen as a overall kind & respectful person.

Chivalry (again, i'm assuming that it is indeed a sign of respect and mindfulness), I think limits a person to just one gender and age-group (women). Why not just be kind and respectful towards everyone?

 

[fortasse]

Chivalry (again, i'm assuming that it is indeed a sign of respect and mindfulness), I think limits a person to just one gender and age-group (women). Why not just be kind and respectful towards everyone?

Well, it is a rather modern definition of chivalry that only limits it to men being kind to women. Classically, chivalry was a romanticized view of how knights were alleged to have acted in medieval time. This romantic view was based on virtues of courage, justice, mercy, generosity, and faith. It was not something men only did for women. It was the complete and total character of a man. It was how he interacted with everyone.

To be chivalrous certainly included proprietal standards of ways to treat a lady (open doors for her, pay for meals, etc), but it would also include things like being kind or magnanimous.

The term classically was for men, because real honest-to-goodness chivalry was something that was first used in relation to knights(I do not know what chivalry was for knights. I only know of the romanticized view of chivalry). Women could not be knights, so the term was never used in conjunction with women.

By giving men the label of being able to be chivalrous, no one is trying to say women should not possess the same traits as well. It simply is not a term one would use for women.

Nowadays, a woman could pull out a chair for a man, or pay the bill, but it would be odd to label the woman as chivalrous. It might be like calling a man a lesbian just because he has a boyfriend. The proper term would be homosexual. We don't call men lesbians, because lesbian is a gender-specific term, even if homosexual and lesbian basically mean the same thing. Likewise, we don't generally call women chivalrous, because historically it was a term reserved for males only. A woman might act in a chivalrous manner, but we would use a different word for it. Kind, generous, magnanimous, philanthropic, whatever.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't think it really matters who pays for the dinner bill or whatever. I think having a good time is more important. And if you pay, don't then brag and boast about it later, because it's not impressive at all to pay for it, then complain about it later.

 

[Kenny]

I've never let a woman pay for me for anything.

 

[Kenny]

From now on I am not going to open doors for women and I'm going to challenge them all to arm wrestling contests and intentionally lose.

I'll be a REAL MAN!

 

[jales]

I think see what Sohpia is saying..

I think the problem is that you think.. because a guy treats a woman differently to the way he may treat a man he is discriminating in some way. And as a result you are wondering if that is okay... because after all if he saw men and women as equal/the same then he would not give women special treatment.

But Sophia it is pretty simple..

1) Women and men are different. They just are and no amount of anti-discrimination, political-correctness, feminism or whatever can change that.

2) Discrimination is not a bad thing if it does not HARM anyone. And chivalry harms no one. If discrimination was always bad there would be no ER in hospitals, there wouldn't be separate lanes for cars & bikes going in opposite directions.. society as we know it could not function. Sometimes discrimination is okay.. you have to ask yourself.. who does it harm??

 

[Kenny]

who does it harm??

The jealous

 

[SophiaGrace]

If the woman you are pursuing or dating is a feminist, you may even have more to consider about modern chivalry. This type of woman may not want the traditional chivalry but only the modern. She may want to split the cost of meals, showing that she is able to care for herself and that she's not looking for anything from you. She may want you to be equals and make decisions together

A modern woman may even want to pursue you once in a while. She may buy you flowers, or buy you dinner or a small gift. Take this to mean she likes you, and appreciate how far our society has come.

Read more: How to Be Chivalrous | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2278987_be-chivalrous.html#ixzz1HPsiyh1K

---

Here's another interesting article: http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_150/164b_dating_girl.html

It's written for men.

 

[Kenny]

If the woman you are pursuing or dating is a feminist, you may even have more to consider about modern chivalry. This type of woman may not want the traditional chivalry but only the modern. She may want to split the cost of meals, showing that she is able to care for herself and that she's not looking for anything from you. She may want you to be equals and make decisions together

A modern woman may even want to pursue you once in a while. She may buy you flowers, or buy you dinner or a small gift. Take this to mean she likes you, and appreciate how far our society has come.

Read more: How to Be Chivalrous | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2278987_be-chivalrous.html#ixzz1HPsiyh1K

Those are good points, Sophia.

It's weird because the most modern woman I ever met and dated was back in 1992. Ha! She was the ONLY one who ever offered to buy lunch or who pursued me, etc.