What men vs what women want

[LonelyLola]

Well, my only ever response in this situation is a brutally honest, yet empathetic, maybe the isn't someone out there for you yet. So just start making friends. Friends of both sexes. Honestly, not everyone will end up with a mate. Some people will end up alone. It sucks. That doesn't mean you can't cultivate friendships online and in your 'real' life (I do that because I think our online interactions can be real life, but could be fake too).

Honestly, I can't imagine being in another relationship. For almost 5 years I was in heaven. I had a guy who was kind, interesting to me, we had similar ideas on entertainment and games and politics and family and music and enough different to be interesting. We were sexually perfect... Our very odd quirks that seemed so strange actually fit each other. I had everything I wanted from a person, a partner ship and a friend who thought I was as sexy as I found him. And then it ended, and I have more insight to it now.

But I have no real desire to replace him. No desire for another boyfriend or even to have (or talk much) abut sex. I think I'm going to just focus on being single for now. Not dating, not looking. Just getting my own stuff done.

I'm sorry I'm stoned on zopiclones and don't know if that is even making much sense.

TL;dr it sucks but not everyone will end up with someone. So just start making friends without worrying if they are romantic interests because then you won't be alone. Friends are good.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Am I described as a bed wetter, because I am 30, always been single, never been kissed or had sex, and am depressed over that?

If so, how would YOU feel if you were in my situation? Would you be happy?

Please try to see things from my perspective. I wouldn't date a single mother, because I wouldn't be able to relate to her. In many cases, her children may be teenagers, and may have more sexual experience than I do (I hope not, but they start young these days.) How am I supposed to act the father, when I relate more to a 13 year old who has no romantic experience?

Please try to see it from my perspective, again, I am not bitching just for the sake of bitching. This is pure hell, wanting girls but not getting them. I sometimes feel like I need plastic surgery just to go out on a date.

 

[LonelyLola]

Accept the fact you might not get girls.

The only way you will stop torturing yourself is if you decide that having a girlfriend experience is the only thing hat is important in life. Life is not fair. You don't always get what you want.

I have been in your situation, but with a different symptom. I found out in my eagerly 20s while I was married in a very traditional church that I was infertile. No possible treatment infertile. And it hurt. It nearly killed me. All I wanted from life to make me happy was a baby. All my friends had their children, I was doing what god wanted, I was going to be such a great mom- but nope. Not happening.

How could I ever be happy without a baby of my own? You know what, you either give up or you get busy living. So decide- is he purpose of your life having a girlfriend to kiss? Or is it being someone who even just by living honestly and with integrity to everyone makes a difference?

Also, I hate adding another story, but my little bro has issues with hormones, and has always been overweight, unattractive, rather lazy and smelly and stubborn. For not! He turned 30 this year and after. 6 month online courtship met a lady at hacker convention and hey are still together!

So just, like, be unhappy about it but don't let it torture you.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I think everyone sort of let the single mom part of the thread die already....just sayin.

 

[Smokey]

Am I described as a bed wetter, because I am 30, always been single, never been kissed or had sex, and am depressed over that?

If so, how would YOU feel if you were in my situation? Would you be happy?

Please try to see things from my perspective. I wouldn't date a single mother, because I wouldn't be able to relate to her. In many cases, her children may be teenagers, and may have more sexual experience than I do (I hope not, but they start young these days.) How am I supposed to act the father, when I relate more to a 13 year old who has no romantic experience?

Please try to see it from my perspective, again, I am not bitching just for the sake of bitching. This is pure hell, wanting girls but not getting them. I sometimes feel like I need plastic surgery just to go out on a date.

Gotta know when to fold em n when to hold em.... sounds like you've been doing a wholeeeee loada foldin....roll the dice once in a while, you never know, you might like it....

Single mothers rule.....

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

So what you're saying is that I should stop caring about the past, start NOW as if I were starting in my teens, and forget over a decade of loneliness?

 

[EveWasFramed]

So what you're saying is that I should stop caring about the past, start NOW as if I were starting in my teens, and forget over a decade of loneliness?

Well...what does remembering actually do for you? Serious question there - not being a smartypants.

 

[LonelyLola]

I'm saying accept the fact that you might be single forever. Accept that. Once you accept it, you can focus on filling your life with activites that allow you take friends, so you even tho you are single you won't be lonely.


And it sucks, cause you will still feel the pang for companionship, but isn't being honest and getting over it better than wallowing? Wallow for a while, then get up and change your life.

 

[Smokey]

So what you're saying is that I should stop caring about the past, start NOW as if I were starting in my teens, and forget over a decade of loneliness?

Who cares about the past ? you seen the history channel lately ? even they have given up on history... too busy with that pwn star stuff... n fat truckers doing their job....

As garth from waynes world once said '' stop torturing yourself, live in the now ''

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Yeah, I probably should accept that.

There are so many men who are in my situation, that it can't be a mistake. God must have had other things planned for us.

 

[Smokey]

Yeah, I probably should accept that.

There are so many men who are in my situation, that it can't be a mistake. God must have had other things planned for us.

Its totally un natural to push against the flow of the stream.... go with it.... chin up and see where it takes you..... you got a one way ticket to life, so enjoy it.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I just wish that one way ticket to life involves sex and kissing.

Oh well. If I turn 35 and am still in this situation, I'll see a hooker.

 

[Smokey]

I just wish that one way ticket to life involves sex and kissing.

Oh well. If I turn 35 and am still in this situation, I'll see a hooker.

why the lust ?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Dude, humans were made to have sex and spread their seed. Take a biology class.

Probably the reason why you're having trouble with that concept is that you're religious. I am not so much religious as I am spiritual. I view sex as a form of spirituality...can't help it, I am a hippie without the whole sex and drugs concept...and it kills me that I can't connect on that level.

I would be satisfied with a one night stand, but I hate bars and have panic attacks in them. And what girl would take home a guy who was severely anxious?

 

[Smokey]

Dude, humans were made to have sex and spread their seed. Take a biology class.

Probably the reason why you're having trouble with that concept is that you're religious. I am not so much religious as I am spiritual. I view sex as a form of spirituality...can't help it, I am a hippie without the whole sex and drugs concept...and it kills me that I can't connect on that level.

I would be satisfied with a one night stand, but I hate bars and have panic attacks in them. And what girl would take home a guy who was severely anxious?

....attituuuuuuuuude.....

ya try helping someone and you get a whole loada tude in return... You're on your own slick.... good luck with the whole '' wanna get to heaven just dont want god to be there '' attitude .

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Are you arguing science?

Because there is no proof that the bible is truth, but there is scientific proof that biology is a certain way. It's not attitude, it's relying on actual evidence.

 

[EveWasFramed]

wait....wut?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

The bible was written by man, and can be disproven.

I'm not stating that it is all inaccurate, but it certainly is outdated, and many of the laws have changed.

Biology, and science, however, all have certain rules that don't change. You can't change a DNA strand. Everything is basically there, as it is.

He is arguing that wanting to have sex is lust. It is against nature to not have sex. Every scientist out there has proven that. Sex has been proven to relieve depression, relieve stress, relieve anxiety, and basically make you a happier and healthier person.

 

[EveWasFramed]

LOL, I think you misunderstood him.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

How the hell did I misunderstand him?

He said I was lusting by wanting to lose my virginity to a one night stand. I am 30, hardly a kid anymore, and should have lost my virginity at least a decade ago.

I took offense that he thinks I'm not going to end up in the Kingdom of God because I am sinful, by having sex. All the while, kids as young as 16 have unmarried sex, get pregnant, and nobody bats an eye. Let's all pick on the 30 year old virgin, shall we!?

(God, I hate this month. First my nephew gets hospitalized, then I fall and hurt myself, and then my mom gets into a car accident! If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have none at all...)