What's a painful truth you've had to swallow?

[TheSkaFish]

The fact that I will never be what women want in a man. From what I’ve seen, they seem to gravitate toward outgoing, confident men, nothing elaborate or complicated. However, I will never be that, I’m too much a weird brooding loner with massive self-esteem issues that I have idea how to fix or if they even can be fixed at all.

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This picture hits me back home and summarized my entire experience around women despite the self improvement.

Both these posts are exactly what I'm afraid of, for me as well. I'm afraid that I can never perform/achieve/succeed enough at anything to attract a woman, and even if I could, nothing I do will matter without charm, smooth talk, sarcasm, facetiousness, flirting or teasing, and a smug attitude - without "game". And I just don't think like that, I don't have that kind of mind, I don't get those kinds of thoughts. It just doesn't occur to me, to think like that.

I've seen that picture before too, with the paragraph on the side. Man, some of that stuff really hit close to home...the part about people in high school just existing, and things that are considered just part of normal life, like getting a relationship, just happened, and there was no thought put into any of it. No one ever talked about "self-improvement" back in the day, and I never saw anyone work on themselves to try to change their lives. Whatever kind of person you were, that's what you were. And for a lot of people, this stuff just worked out as a byproduct of the random way they turned out.

With me, like the picture says, I missed out on the "societal flow". I was never in it, in the first place. And I worry that my problems in life are the result of being genetically inferior, all the time - although not in a looks sense.

That said, I'm not really bothered by not getting the cheerleader, because even if I were super strong and rich, it's unlikely the cheerleader would share my interests and personality/temperament/nature. I remember the popular, "hot girls" back in the day and I don't think any of them liked the same stuff as me. Not only that, but they were shallow, liked attention, and were mean/cold/aloof, just not very nice or friendly. You had to be "good enough" (muscular, rich, a risk taker, really good at something, good at making fun of people, etc. - "high status") for them to give you time of day. So yeah, that's not the kind of person I want to indulge...the body might be a turn on but the personality is a turn off. I would refuse to play their games, even if I could. When I matured, I realized that looks aren't enough for me, and aren't even the most important thing like I used to think they were.

I'd rather go for someone that I actually like as a person.
Looks, without this, don't do much good, and lose their charm quickly.

But, trying to attract someone based on personality first, hasn't been easy, either.

 

[REDEMPTION]

Both these posts are exactly what I'm afraid of, for me as well. I'm afraid that I can never perform/achieve/succeed enough at anything to attract a woman, and even if I could, nothing I do will matter without charm, smooth talk, sarcasm, facetiousness, flirting or teasing, and a smug attitude - without "game". And I just don't think like that, I don't have that kind of mind, I don't get those kinds of thoughts. It just doesn't occur to me, to think like that.

I've seen that picture before too, with the paragraph on the side. Man, some of that stuff really hit close to home...the part about people in high school just existing, and things that are considered just part of normal life, like getting a relationship, just happened, and there was no thought put into any of it. No one ever talked about "self-improvement" back in the day, and I never saw anyone work on themselves to try to change their lives. Whatever kind of person you were, that's what you were. And for a lot of people, this stuff just worked out as a byproduct of the random way they turned out.

With me, like the picture says, I missed out on the "societal flow". I was never in it, in the first place. And I worry that my problems in life are the result of being genetically inferior, all the time - although not in a looks sense.

That said, I'm not really bothered by not getting the cheerleader, because even if I were super strong and rich, it's unlikely the cheerleader would share my interests and personality/temperament/nature. I remember the popular, "hot girls" back in the day and I don't think any of them liked the same stuff as me. Not only that, but they were shallow, liked attention, and were mean/cold/aloof, just not very nice or friendly. You had to be "good enough" (muscular, rich, a risk taker, really good at something, good at making fun of people, etc. - "high status") for them to give you time of day. So yeah, that's not the kind of person I want to indulge...the body might be a turn on but the personality is a turn off. I would refuse to play their games, even if I could. When I matured, I realized that looks aren't enough for me, and aren't even the most important thing like I used to think they were.

I'd rather go for someone that I actually like as a person.
Looks, without this, don't do much good, and lose their charm quickly.

But, trying to attract someone based on personality first, hasn't been easy, either.

Yeah nobody did this much mental gymnastics over something as little as attracting a girl or being part of other normal things thinking every living second about how to do it correctly. They just carelessly live their life.

>have you watched enough PUA artists bro?
>try to read this 700 page thick book which goes in complex depth about mentality and social behavior bro, you'll become a normie in just three years bro
>...

The thing with personality is, is that more "higher quality" people such as good looking men tend to be more confident, lead happier lives and have a better formed personality as a result simply due to their pleasant looks which make people's day and treat them better.

Personality is solely a meme. You first pass the first physical appearence judgement before your personality comes to play as women will always judge you first on that the moment they see you for the first time and form a opinion out of it.

Ugly people are in comparison more insecure and aren't treated as nicely as good looking people do, thus they tend to be shittier on the inside soaked up with jealousy and hate. They experience an inferiority complex when in proximity with them and girls gravitate practically do not acknowledge their existence.

 

[dan27]

That this World will never unite in peace & prosperity.

 

[user 188685]

That this World will never unite in peace & prosperity.

So sad and true

 

[Cherubino]

they despise me

 

[user 188685]

The world will never ever get back to the way it was,it will just get much worse.

 

[ObtrudeNoMore]

That I'm not going to get married or have a relationship of any kind including real friendship.

 

[insecure]

For me it's accepting that I'll never meet people's expectations no matter what I do. I've spent a lot of time and energy fighting this thought, but I'm at a point where I can't fight it anymore. There are so many expectations in society that I wanted to live up too, but can't.

I think it was one of my flaws before, that I always tried to please everyone, but that is simply not possible.
Moreover, if you do that, less people will like you than when you make some clear choices and accept that not everyone will like you.
For example, when it comes to attraction, some women really love muscular guys, so if you're not that well-built you might be jealous of guys with lots of muscles, and start spending lots of time in the gym to try to fit into that image.
And then when you're finally there, you might meet a woman who says she's more into intellectual guys.
There are only 24 hours in a day, so the time you spend in the gym you won't be able to spend on reading.
So even if you wanted to please everyone out there, you couldn't, they all have different expectations, so it is impossible to meet all of them.
I think it's more important to be yourself.

 

[user 188685]

I think it was one of my flaws before, that I always tried to please everyone, but that is simply not possible.
Moreover, if you do that, less people will like you than when you make some clear choices and accept that not everyone will like you.
For example, when it comes to attraction, some women really love muscular guys, so if you're not that well-built you might be jealous of guys with lots of muscles, and start spending lots of time in the gym to try to fit into that image.
And then when you're finally there, you might meet a woman who says she's more into intellectual guys.
There are only 24 hours in a day, so the time you spend in the gym you won't be able to spend on reading.
So even if you wanted to please everyone out there, you couldn't, they all have different expectations, so it is impossible to meet all of them.
I think it's more important to be yourself.

very true

 

[user 135671]

It doesn't matter how much you love someone

When I was 19, I fell in love with a pair of green eyes, red hair, and a fiery personality. I daydreamed about her smile, the words she’d seductively whispered into my ear, and the feeling of her soft skin under my fingertips. Unfortunately, I was just another fling for her, evoking as many feelings as a leaf of stale lettuce.

Fast forward a few years, and I found myself on the other end of the equation, loved by a beautiful and amazing woman whose feelings I couldn’t reciprocate.

Forget about the whole “winning them over” ********. Disney and Hollywood make a killing from it but you won’t. It doesn’t matter how much you love someone if they don’t love you, tough luck. If anything, your disproportionate investment will drive them further away.

You can’t command love so enjoy it with the people who give it back and forget about the ones who don’t, even if it hurts.

 

[insecure]

You can’t command love so enjoy it with the people who give it back and forget about the ones who don’t, even if it hurts.

I agree, but it also hard to control your own feelings.
An unrequited love can linger on for a long time, even though you might rationally know it will never work out.

 

[user 135671]

I agree, but it also hard to control your own feelings.
An unrequited love can linger on for a long time, even though you might rationally know it will never work out.

You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

 

[insecure]

You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

I know, but I think there's a difference between what you know you should do, and what you feel.
The end of (the hope of) a relation is like a mourning process.

 

[Hazed]

I wont be free from this cycle at a reasonable age.

 

[Finished]

I will always be an odd piece that never fits into society's puzzle. BUT, I need to remind myself that's okay. F them!

 

[insecure]

They say that men are from Mars, and women from Venus. Sometimes I feel like I'm from Pluto.

 

[Finished]

They say that men are from Mars, and women from Venus. Sometimes I feel like I'm from Pluto.

That's better then Jupiter. They say that's where you go to get stupider.

 

[Running Alone]

They say that men are from Mars, and women from Venus. Sometimes I feel like I'm from Pluto.

Oh man I like this lol! I'm stealing it and modifying it a bit..."I often feel like I'm from Uranus" (sh!t)

On topic...my harsh reality is that I will never be considered anything beyond "friend material" to women. I'm okay with it (have plenty of lady friends) but that doesn't mean it still doesn't suck.

 

[TheSkaFish]

On topic...my harsh reality is that I will never be considered anything beyond "friend material" to women. I'm okay with it (have plenty of lady friends) but that doesn't mean it still doesn't suck.

I can't tell you how much I'm afraid of this, myself.

I'm afraid I'll just never figure out the right interests, skills, thoughts and ideas, ways of talking and carrying myself, what kind of character to be, how my mind works and sees things, and whatever else I need that I might not even know about, to be more than that.

 

[user 188685]

I will never have a good and happy life.