What's a painful truth you've had to swallow?

[user 188685]

Thank you.i couldn't get notifications, so i didn't even know people noticed my post.I'm slowly learning about this platform.Have a lovely day to you.

Thanks you too

 

[Juana24]

For me it's accepting that I'll never meet people's expectations no matter what I do. I've spent a lot of time and energy fighting this thought, but I'm at a point where I can't fight it anymore. There are so many expectations in society that I wanted to live up too, but can't.

Excuse me!? Is that supposed to be a negative truth?
Man! You're free! Yes, it is painful and disappointing that you'll never live up to other people's expectations. But that pain and disappointment can't live forever. They'll fade at some point. And what are you left with? A whole life, a whole beautiful life to live under YOUR OWN expectations, values, and desires.
Come on! Fu** everyone else! Go out and live YOUR life and let others do the same!

 

[Juana24]

That I could have done so much better for myself in the first half of my 20s. No matter, I'm going to make the second half better than life has ever been.

Yes, that last sentence is key. I also regret many things from the past. But I don't like to stay too long on the "regret" part. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm so glad to read that you're doing so much better in the present. That's what is most valuable!

 

[Juana24]

That my mother didn't want me. Years of denying it myself until she outright admitted it on more than one occasion.

Oh man, that's rough...
My mom has experienced the same with her mom... And it is something you really can't let go, I really can't imagine the pain... I'm so sorry to hear that...
Now that you made me think about my mom, I'd like to say that she is really the best mom you could wish for, you know... So well... I guess... I know it's a cliché, but I guess there's a ton of beauty and value in trying to do better than those who hurt us, not necessarily towards them, but towards anybody, really. I think that's cathartic and beautiful.

 

[howdidifindmyselfhere?]

Wow, reading through some of these makes my painful truth seem so small and insignificant.

I've grown up with physical issues from a very early age. Basically, I have known no different and have just got on with it, its just been the norm for me and therefore something I haven't really had to swallow.

The painful truth that I have had to accept, is that there are some people in this world that you will think way more of than they think of you, and some will drop you like a stone as soon as they can, never to be heard from again.

I mean it must be nice for them to have so many friend that that can afford to get rid of a few, but each friendship that I form is important to me and I do anything I can to hold on to it. Really hurts when others just don't seem to care. I think social media now a days is partly to blame for that, some people seem to care more about the number of friends, (like followers, etc) that they have rather than the actual people themselves. I'm sure we have all been involved in a Facebook cull at some point haven't we?

 

[user 139760]

A dirty joke comes to mind.

 

[user 188644]

Wow, reading through some of these makes my painful truth seem so small and insignificant.

I've grown up with physical issues from a very early age. Basically, I have known no different and have just got on with it, its just been the norm for me and therefore something I haven't really had to swallow.

The painful truth that I have had to accept, is that there are some people in this world that you will think way more of than they think of you, and some will drop you like a stone as soon as they can, never to be heard from again.

I mean it must be nice for them to have so many friend that that can afford to get rid of a few, but each friendship that I form is important to me and I do anything I can to hold on to it. Really hurts when others just don't seem to care. I think social media now a days is partly to blame for that, some people seem to care more about the number of friends, (like followers, etc) that they have rather than the actual people themselves. I'm sure we have all been involved in a Facebook cull at some point haven't we?

I think you're only half way there. This isn't like them being mean they just don't care. They don't mind casting a wide net and are comfortable meeting new people. They generally feel like if it works out we'll hang out/talk again. They just have a bigger world. The painful truth is if you were as open to new things and risks as they are you'd "care" as much about them as they care about you.

 

[ardour]

I think you're only half way there. This isn't like them being mean they just don't care. They don't mind casting a wide net and are comfortable meeting new people. They generally feel like if it works out we'll hang out/talk again. They just have a bigger world. The painful truth is if you were as open to new things and risks as they are you'd "care" as much about them as they care about you.

That's easy when there's a real circle of friends to fall back on.

I come across people doing this at meetups. If they aren't networking, they're branching out a bit, but always with an existing social circle. Sometimes we'll add each other on social media, then I get to see them interacting with their long term friends. I know the score but it can still be depressing

 

[Azariah]

People don't like smartasses, some of them anyway.

 

[ardour]

It's really frustrating to both be "not OK", and also have to worry about money.

I don't know who I am, I'm not good at anything, and I don't know how to talk in the right way to be attractive. I don't do smooth talk, teasing, sarcasm, and flirting/sexual innuendo. I don't think in those terms. It doesn't occur to me naturally to think that way, I just don't see things that way, my mind doesn't work like that.
.

Sarcasm and teasing are another set of social skills to be learned. But if it feels false don't do it. Not every woman will respond to that, some hate it.

 

[user 188644]

That's easy when there's a real circle of friends to fall back on.

I come across people doing this at meetups. If they aren't networking, they're branching out a bit, but always with an existing social circle. Sometimes we'll add each other on social media, then I get to see them interacting with their long term friends. I know the score but it can still be depressing

And none of the people in that circle are waiting around for any of the others to text or call.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Sarcasm and teasing are another set of social skills to be learned. But if it feels false don't do it. Not every woman will respond to that, some hate it.

I can't resist an opportunity to talk about what some women hate and reply to Ardour... it's like two of my favourite things, how can a girl resist, I simply cant... So hmm you know what I agree with ya, I am the most sarcastic tease known to man, and 99.99% of men hate it, but thats just who I am and I refuse to change for anyone... especially a man... so I feel like for men it should be similar, why change for me? I'd hate that.

 

[ardour]

And none of the people in that circle are waiting around for any of the others to text or call.

Sure, nobody ever contacts each other or particularly cares about staying in touch. That's how social circles work...

 

[user 188644]

Sure, nobody ever contacts each other or particularly cares about staying in touch. That's how social circles work..

If this is sarcasm you're a moron. If it's not you're a moron.

 

[ardour]

If this is sarcasm you're a moron. If it's not you're a moron.

Of course it was, you arrogant arse.

 

[user 188644]

Of course it was, you arrogant arse who can't deal with a counter opinion.

Uh did I not respond to your first "counter" point in a completely civil manner? Arrogant is a fair assessment though.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

Bad people often seem to thrive.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Sarcasm and teasing are another set of social skills to be learned. But if it feels false don't do it. Not every woman will respond to that, some hate it.

Sarcasm is something you are born with. I mean, you can learn the basics of it, but if it doesn't come naturally to you, it's not going to come out as sarcasm.
Teasing, depending on what kind you are talking about, is just immature. (Teasing as in leading someone on when you have no intention of following through.

 

[Bam111]

Edit

 

[Claudia1794]

Some things just don't want to stay buried.