Why don't women ever approach men?

[Dissident]

Methinks the people that still use "the hunt" to describe it are pining for the olden days when clubbing a woman over the head and dragging her to your cave was expected courtship behavior.

 

[Mike413]

[I don't ever approach men (strangers), but I definitely don't expect them to approach me either.]

Change the men in this sentence to women and this was basically me for a long time. It's not so much that I expected women to approach me that I wanted them to. I knew it was rare but I secretly wanted it to happen. However, now as I am older I have gotten over it and now understand that if I want something to happen I basically have to just suck it up and make the first move. I am outgoing by nature for the most part and don't have any problems at all talking to strangers when appropriate but with women in a social context (bar environment) it seems different. I know I'm putting myself on the line to possibly get rejected and have problems convincing myself that my ego can handle it. However, I'm basically at the end of my rope. I haven't had luck with the internet and so I think I'm better off just trying to meet women in person and yes I know that means approaching them first. So tonight I am going out later and same thing tomorrow. Not sure how it will go but I know I have to start getting in the habit of approaching.

 

[Dissident]

You need to brace yourself for pepper spray or mace.

 

[Mike413]

[You need to brace yourself for pepper spray or mace. ]


Ok. Not sure why you would say such a silly thing.

I think that would be more for someone who has the "hunting" mentality. You go after something and appear to be a threat it will fight back. That's not my approach though.

 

[VanillaCreme]

So we've got two things going on here, that aren't being said.

We have the OP who wonders why women never ask men (him). Some people are attractive and get asked, some don't. Simple as that. I've never been asked either, except once by another guy (told him no, since I was totally off guard with being asked for a change, and I usually prefer women though I didn't tell him that lest I hurt his feelings).

And we've got women who have apparently signed up for equal rights and all, but still have the same backward notions about being pursued. Guess what? The only people who are still into that are the ******* wife-beater traditionalists who expect you to love, honor, and especially obey. Or nerdy creepy types, that you would wish have the sense not to pursue you (but having no experience with women, don't know better). The rest of the population of men is still waiting for you to make the first move. And waiting... and waiting.... So figure out what you want already.

What are you talking about? One, attraction and being attractive are different on many levels. Attractive in terms of what? You seeing them for the first time? Or you falling for your best friend? Attractive doesn't always mean seeing a model and asking them out. Attraction can build between two people who have known each other for years.

Second, I have no idea what you're talking about equal rights and whatnot for. What backwards notion? That women should be the ones being asked out by men? Because you've got not one, but two females - Eve and myself - saying that we would actively pursue a man.

No, those two things aren't being said, at least not by everyone, so I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

[EveWasFramed]

... so I have no idea what you're talking about.

I find myself scratching my head at a number of these kinds of posts the past few days and don't bother with a reply. I mean...what's the point anymore?

 

[Mike413]

If I went out every night of the week for the next year or so yeah probably at least one woman would approach me. Maybe more. But then I would have to decide pretty quickly if she was my type or not. I don't want to reject anyone unnecessarily but I'm not going to automatically go for a woman just because she approached me either. So in the end, it's in my best interest not to rely on the remote possibility that a woman I would actually be interested in would approach me. It's best for me to just do what I need to do just like every other guy who isn't a rock star or who's last name isn't Depp, Pitt, Cruise, etc.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Well then, I guess all the guys in the world who think women aren't ever going to approach them can do one of two things:

1. SUCK IT UP and do the approaching or
2. Stay alone

Or am I missing any alternatives?

 

[Mike413]

Well then, I guess all the guys in the world who think women aren't ever going to approach them can do one of two things:

1. SUCK IT UP and do the approaching or
2. Stay alone

Or am I missing any alternatives?

Wait around for hell to freeze over or a woman I would be interested in to approach me(same thing ).


Ok. To be honest, it could happen but the point is no man should wait for it to happen(and yes that includes me).

 

[EveWasFramed]

Well then, I guess all the guys in the world who think women aren't ever going to approach them can do one of two things:

1. SUCK IT UP and do the approaching or
2. Stay alone

Or am I missing any alternatives?

Wait around for hell to freeze over or a woman I would be interested in to approach me(same thing ).


Ok. To be honest, it could happen but the point is no man should wait for it to happen(and yes that includes me).

LOL, well yes, that's sort of my point. If you think it's not gonna happen, then you (anyone who feels this way) have only the two options listed above.
Not trying to be insensitive to the issue, but really, those seem to be the only two options.

 

[Mike413]

those seem to be the only two realistic options.


There. Fixed it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

lol

 

[9006]

Well then, I guess all the guys in the world who think women aren't ever going to approach them can do one of two things:

1. SUCK IT UP and do the approaching or
2. Stay alone

Or am I missing any alternatives?

1. SUCK IT UP and do the approaching or
2. Stay alone
3. Moan about it

 

[Moe'sTavern]

Well then, I guess all the guys in the world who think women aren't ever going to approach them can do one of two things:

1. SUCK IT UP and do the approaching or
2. Stay alone

Or am I missing any alternatives?

1. SUCK IT UP and do the approaching or
2. Stay alone
3. Moan about it

Option 3 appears to be very popular; Perhaps to much so.....<.<

 

[EveWasFramed]

Option 3 appears to be very popular; Perhaps to much so.....<.<

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!

 

[VanillaCreme]

Ok. To be honest, it could happen but the point is no man should wait for it to happen(and yes that includes me).

No one should wait. Take initiative - regardless of gender. Don't just sit there like a flump-a-dump and wonder why...

 

[EveWasFramed]

I wonder how this thread might have gone if the title had been, "How can I make myself seem more approachable to women?"
Not being a smartass, totally serious with that.

 

[ajdass1]

I wonder how this thread might have gone if the title had been, "How can I make myself seem more approachable to women?"
Not being a smartass, totally serious with that.

Oooh, that's a good one Eve.

I think it's really telling that the question we DID get - why don't women ever approach men - gets asked way more than the one you asked in my experience.

 

[Mike413]

I wonder how this thread might have gone if the title had been, "How can I make myself seem more approachable to women?"
Not being a smartass, totally serious with that.

Oooh I know(raises hand). I can cut out a picture of George CLooney or Brad Pitt then paste it on my face then when women take it off they'll go eww who the f**k are you. Then that's when I hit them with the club and drag them back to my cave. LOL. As Triumph the insult comic dog would say "I kid. I kid."

 

[kamya]

Well then, I guess all the guys in the world who think women aren't ever going to approach them can do one of two things:

1. SUCK IT UP and do the approaching or
2. Stay alone

Or am I missing any alternatives?

1. SUCK IT UP and do the approaching or
2. Stay alone
3. Moan about it

Option 3 appears to be very popular; Perhaps to much so.....<.<

Pretty much any change that has ever happened in the world began with someone moaning about something. I havn't read the whole thread so I don't know the context but I'm just saying. :O