A jaguarundi guide to finding someone

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My list is basically no drug addicts, no alcoholics, and probably no smokers. Might take a smoker though if they were really super worth it.
 
kamya said:
My list is basically no drug addicts, no alcoholics, and probably no smokers. Might take a smoker though if they were really super worth it.

That's not even an SO Bucket List. :p It's normal expectations. :D Good job!
 
My savior;) Wait a minute, I don't want a relationship....must....stop....reading....
 
jaguarundi said:
Don't worry you out there who consider yourselves socially inept, bad with people and otherwise clueless. I will get to all that stuff further down the line.

Hopefully you will, and with a light and feathery touch. The advice thus far, IMHO, is more applicable for the mainstream individual... not that there is anything wrong with that, given that this is a mainstream world for mainstream people.

But some of us are not so. It's not exceptionalism, it's not terminal uniqueness, it's not selfish.. it just is. I maintain that some of us are not wired to be social in the ways most people consider normal. (I'd really prefer not to start arguing with anyone who believes I'm just using this as some sort of "cop out" or because I like to be contrary.) It's just my two cents, anyway.

I might add, I don't consider this moaning, btw.
 
I agree with most of these. I mean, I'm at home a lot and I do understand that there's not a very big chance of a woman magically appearing out of nowhere here, so I'll have to do something different. But, changing my outlook is going to be difficult - it sounds too much like lowering one's expectations to me. That's going to be especially hard to do now that I know for a fact that there are girls out there who are the full package - they share most to all of my interests or don't quite have the interests but do have the right personality, high intelligence level, AND are exceptionally attractive. There really aren't very many girls at all who share my interests or have the personality or looks that I like - and fewer still who have all of them in one. Like I said in another thread, there's a few girls in my city who I have stuff in common with, but they aren't attractive - and there's girls who are attractive (though in a plain way) but with whom I share nothing in common. It would be hard to be seriously interested in someone knowing that there is someone out there that I would be interested in a LOT more. I want a relationship but not one that is phony or lukewarm.
 
SofiasMami said:
We've all been poisoned by Hollywood movies where people find true love, get married and live happily ever after in 2 hours.

I agree finding someone special is like a job! Especially for us more mature (ahem- "older") people who don't hang out in groups with lots of other singles, like at college for example. My office is about 90% women and the few men there are either married or half a generation younger. All the rest of my time is with my kiddo.
I met about 15-20 men while online dating but nothing panned out and I decided to quit that "job" after doing a cost-benefit analysis. Not worth it :)

Plus, I don't see being single as a tragedy, affliction or disease. I'm ok the way I am. :)

-Teresa

I chuckled at the "...cost benefit analysis..." comment- thanks for that.
 
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The next instalment of the jaguarundi guide to finding someone is currently under construction.


Batters, Fishy (or Battered Fish if you prefer) you have not been ignored. You may find the next post explains your questions.

In the meantime, a rabid weasel team has been dispatched to Illinois. Latest communique from them advised they are foaming nicely. They are under orders to watch and report only. You have been warned.....


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jaguarundi said:
In the meantime, a rabid weasel team has been dispatched to Illinois. Latest communique from them advised they are foaming nicely. They are under orders to watch and report only. You have been warned.....

Halp pls.
 
kamya said:
jaguarundi said:
In the meantime, a rabid weasel team has been dispatched to Illinois. Latest communique from them advised they are foaming nicely. They are under orders to watch and report only. You have been warned.....

Halp pls.
The rabid weasel team is now heading towards Chicago.... central Illinois is safe.

However the team sent to GB by Captain Eve has gone rogue, and is now en route to the Eastern seabord of the US.... They are not responding to orders. Could be entertaining (or not).
 
jaguarundi said:
kamya said:
jaguarundi said:
In the meantime, a rabid weasel team has been dispatched to Illinois. Latest communique from them advised they are foaming nicely. They are under orders to watch and report only. You have been warned.....

Halp pls.
The rabid weasel team is now heading towards Chicago.... central Illinois is safe.

However the team sent to GB by Captain Eve has gone rogue, and is now en route to the Eastern seabord of the US.... They are not responding to orders. Could be entertaining (or not).

Ah jeez...bad enough we have wild roosters roaming the streets, now this :( yikes!
 
The OP may be a well-intentioned attempt to help or just a reaction from a woman who is fed up. But while the advice might be good, it is in the wrong place. From what I've seen of it, ALL is a site for those whose obstacles to meeting the opposite gender are more substantial than garden-variety shyness. Some of the people here have tried the usual advice from relationship gurus & haven't seen results after repeated efforts. Others here either don't have the time, the requisite physical health (what requirement list on any singles site says "Must be too tired to get it up or last longer than 20 seconds"?), or other intractable problems.

In short, jaguarundi's thread should be a guide for singles instead of advice for the physically &/or mentally ill. And such people need a place to vent.

And no, this isn't moaning about being single. I am a misanthrope. We don't look for lifelong mates; many of us don't look for mates at all. I find humans disgusting & irritating enough in casual interactions in daily life. Why, by Odin's crusty codpiece, would I want someone around me every goddamned hour that I am home? That sounds like torture. When physical needs drive me to it I want someone around but other than that, I'm enough company for me.
 
MTrip said:
And no, this isn't moaning about being single. I am a misanthrope. We don't look for lifelong mates; many of us don't look for mates at all. I find humans disgusting & irritating enough in casual interactions in daily life. Why, by Odin's crusty codpiece, would I want someone around me every goddamned hour that I am home? That sounds like torture. When physical needs drive me to it I want someone around but other than that, I'm enough company for me.[/color][/font]

Well this is a rather harsh description, and I don't think I'm a complete misanthrope, but this does seem to resonate with me a lot. I don't want someone around all the time, or begging me to see her family members and shake Pop's hand really hard to impress him, or asking me to go out with some of her arrogant friends who look at me oddly because I don't know what to say; I don't need the insecurity of worrying whether someone is using me for some reason; I don't want to meet her exes; and of course, I don't want everyone judging me as to whether I'm "good enough" to be with her, and so on.

But I'm not completely indifferent. What remains is the physical and emotional need for being in the company of a woman, but no natural desire to change myself into something I never wanted to be anyway just so I can have a chance at a LTR. I'm not sure I even have the capability to change into some kind of "mainstream guy" even if I tried my hardest, and maybe that is why I have no desire to do so? It may be a case of "I would if I could." It's like, if I had the capability to understand Calculus, well yes I sure as heck would do so, because I have an interest in Math. (As it turns out, though, I struggled with basic high school algebra and geometry.)
 
Its called A Lonely Life. Not a physically and mentally handicapped lonely life. .. Not that it excludes anyone with such problems.

If you do not want someone, feel free not to read the thread. In fact why bother reading and commenting at all? If your problems are so huge that no ordinary advice will help, you need more than ALL. You need professional help as well.

All I am offering is some advice that members may either have never thought of, or forgotten. And judging by comments received, the advice about moving out of your comfort zone ... Even a bit... Might help some. If you don't want to do that, then maybe you dont want an SO as much as you think you do.

If I wanted a job as a translator, I would learn better French. I would not complain that no-one wanted to hire me.

I repeat. Please feel free to moan wherever you want. Just not on this thread.
 
But....but....thoughts of you always makes me moan jagmeanie darling....
 
WildernessWildChild said:
jaguarundi said:
WildernessWildChild said:
But....but....thoughts of you always makes me moan jagmeanie darling....

It's jaguarungi darling to you.

Purrrrrrrrrrrr- oops, I mean RAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRR!

lol. The roar does seem more appropriate to a Canadian big cat than a lowly little purr:D
 
^ Oh yeah WWC, Teresa and some of you other posters. I hope you know when I say 'why bother to read the thread, or post,' I am not meaning you, or anyone else who has something helpful, positive or (god help me for saying this) actually amusing to say to the topic, even if they themselves do not seek a mate. :D

And WWC - you know very well that's what I meant, you, you... wild child you!:club:
 

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