If your your an average guy, things suck, and theres nothing you can do

[sub5male]

I think it's only critical in your head.

According to a massive 2013 study done in North America titled "The height of choosiness: Mutual mate choice for stature results insuboptimal pair formation for both sexes" (which I became aware of from an older post on this site), 75% of women will reject a 5'6 man based only on his height alone so how would you explain this? I would also suggest that male height in regards to dating has gotten much worse in the past 10 years too.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

The average american male in 2021, made ~$50,000/yr. lol. Doesn't sound so bad...

 

[okidoke]

According to a massive 2013 study done in North America titled "The height of choosiness: Mutual mate choice for stature results insuboptimal pair formation for both sexes" (which I became aware of from an older post on this site), 75% of women will reject a 5'6 man based only on his height alone so how would you explain this? I would also suggest that male height in regards to dating has gotten much worse in the past 10 years too.

OMG dude. It's like you WANT to stack the cards against you. "Massive" study? How many women? I bet not ALL women of North America. And your own comments "prove" 25% of women won't reject you for your height. That 1 in 4. 1 in 4! You can "suggest" whatever you want.

Let's say everything you say is absolutely irrefutable and justified, now what? So give up or keep trying. Your call. Just stop whining.

 

[sub5male]

OMG dude. It's like you WANT to stack the cards against you. "Massive" study? How many women? I bet not ALL women of North America. And your own comments "prove" 25% of women won't reject you for your height. That 1 in 4. 1 in 4! You can "suggest" whatever you want.

Let's say everything you say is absolutely irrefutable and justified, now what? So give up or keep trying. Your call. Just stop whining.

"We used a sample of 5782 speed-daters making 128 104 choices to link preferences for partner height to actual choice and the formation of a match (the mutual expression of interest to meet again). We show that sexual conflict at the level of preferences is translated into choice: women were most likely to choose a speed-dater 25 cm taller than themselves, whereas men were most likely to choose women only 7 cm shorter than themselves. As a consequence, matches were most likely at an intermediate height difference (19 cm) that differed significantly from the preferred height difference of both sexes."

I am merely pointing out that for men, having success in dating is often not under our control. Being excluded by 75% of women based on a single non-changeable attribute alone is huge. I also find it interesting that you consider providing verifiable facts as whining.

 

[user 139760]

"We used a sample of 5782 speed-daters making 128 104 choices to link preferences for partner height to actual choice and the formation of a match (the mutual expression of interest to meet again). We show that sexual conflict at the level of preferences is translated into choice: women were most likely to choose a speed-dater 25 cm taller than themselves, whereas men were most likely to choose women only 7 cm shorter than themselves. As a consequence, matches were most likely at an intermediate height difference (19 cm) that differed significantly from the preferred height difference of both sexes."

I am merely pointing out that for men, having success in dating is often not under our control. Being excluded by 75% of women based on a single non-changeable attribute alone is huge. I also find it interesting that you consider providing verifiable facts as whining.

There's 1.78 million people living in just my city. Around 51% of those are women.
Under 60, that's about 300 000.
But yeah...we can go with 5800 being representative of say, a country. Or the world.

 

[TheSkaFish]

@sub5male
correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you say somewhere that you were married before?

I feel like if you could do it once, you could do it again. That's WAY more success than some people have had.
You must have done something right to get married in the first place.

 

[sub5male]

There's 1.78 million people living in just my city. Around 51% of those are women.
Under 60, that's about 300 000.
But yeah...we can go with 5800 being representative of say, a country. Or the world.

That's not how studies or stats work Richard-it's called sample size.

 

[sub5male]

@sub5male
correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you say somewhere that you were married before?

I feel like if you could do it once, you could do it again. That's WAY more success than some people have had.
You must have done something right to get married in the first place.

I was married in the early 90's and things were light years different from how they are now. Afyer we our divorce around 6 years ago I was in shock at how much dating had changed for the worse for men who are not in the top 20% or so. If things were close to the way they were then, you be correct but social media, cell phones & dating apps have squeezed even many average men out of the dating market & it's now virtually impossible for below average men to get interest from women in the US.

Btw, I would in no way describe my marriage as in any way a success on any level & we were at best roomates for the majority of the time. If not for my fear if being alone I would have gotten divorced many years before I did, The one thing we agree we did right was choose not to procreate.

 

[user 190541]

Btw, I would in no way describe my marriage as in any way a success on any level & we were at best roomates for the majority of the time. If not for my fear if being alone I would have gotten divorced many years before I did, The one thing we agree we did right was choose not to procreate.

"Between Quincas Borba's death and mine took place the events told in the first part of the book. The most important among them was the invention of the Brás Cubas's Poultice, which died with me, because of the illness I contracted. Divine poultice, you would have given me the first place among men, above science and wealth, because you were the genuine and straightfoward inspiration of heaven. Chance determined otherwise, and thus you're all eternally hypochondriac.

This last chapter is all negatives. I did not reach the celebrity of the poultice, I was not a minister, I was not a caliph, wasn't married. Truth is that, besides these faults, befell me the good fortune of not having to pay for bread with the sweat of my face. Plus, I did not suffer Dona Plácida's death, nor Quincas Borba's semi-dementia. Factoring in pluses and minuses, anyone would guess that there was no lack or excess, and, consequently, that I left even with life. And would guess poorly, because, arriving to this other side of the mistery, I found myself with a small surplus, which is the ultimate negative of this chapter of negatives - I did not have children, I didn't bequeath to no creature the heritage of our misery." - "Memórias Póstumas de Brás Cubas", Chapter CLX, "On negatives".

 

[user 139760]

That's not how studies or stats work Richard-it's called sample size.

I know exactly how study's work. It's up to you to decide though, if it's an accurate sample size with an acceptable margin of error. I personally think it's way off base.
Then again, I don't look for reasons to stay single. I look for reasons not to.

 

[ardour]

I know exactly how study's work. It's up to you to decide though, if it's an accurate sample size with an acceptable margin of error. I personally think it's way off base.
Then again, I don't look for reasons to stay single. I look for reasons not to.

why would one need a reason/excuse for that?

 

[Adamridge79]

Thanks to social media & dating apps things are not the same as they were even 10 years ago so the line between made up worlds and the so called real world have been morphed into a hybrid of both where unfortunate looking men have been factored out of the equation.

Jesus, just say a confident woman scares you, and the vulnerable shy away. For ***** sake

 

[user 139760]

why would one need a reason/excuse for that?

I mean that I don't spend my time watching youtube videos or visiting articles that tell me how bad men have it.I do my own thing and if I meet a woman I'm attracted to, I'll go for it and tell her, without wondering if I'm tall enough, slim enough, fit enough, am attractive enough or whatnot. Worst case, I get a no. It's as simple as that.
Been shot down plenty if times in the past. Doesn't mean I'll stay grounded in case I get shot down again. Mindset matters.

 

[ardour]

I mean that I don't spend my time watching youtube videos or visiting articles that tell me how bad men have it.I do my own thing and if I meet a woman I'm attracted to, I'll go for it and tell her, without wondering if I'm tall enough, slim enough, fit enough, am attractive enough or whatnot. Worst case, I get a no. It's as simple as that.
Been shot down plenty if times in the past. Doesn't mean I'll stay grounded in case I get shot down again. Mindset matters.

Well, yeah, continue, while it's still legal.

 

[user 139760]

Well, yeah, continue, while it's still legal.

I don't even know how to respond to that.
That's like jaded x 100.

 

[sub5male]

I don't even know how to respond to that.
That's like jaded x 100.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Being hung up on love is a lot like being hung up on God.

Basically Everyone That Just Read My Above Sentence:

To put it into a gaming analogy, it's the Mr. House situation of Fallout: New Vegas, or in film, the Wizard of Oz.

These are things that as a human you will have to find the answers for for yourself.
Some people don't want to know what's behind the curtain, and some people have to know what's behind it for themselves to have some clarity.

One man's clarity is another man's nightmares.
One man's God is another man's Satan.

This is just how humans are, is the thing.
The sanctity of one man is but the hedonistic revelry of another man.

And more often times than not the opportunist who comfortably exists in the between inevitably gets hung up on the fence in the between due to the sedentary stagnation thereof.

Humans leverage fear and power over other humans when they themselves are triggered by their own fears.

Some people don't want to know what's on the top of the mountain, that scares them. So they stay away from it. Other people make the pilgrimage their life's work. S.S.D.D., my peoples.

This is something that is fundamentally a problem with both men and women.
So don't stagnate, but don't get cocky, either.

If you're 6 miles ahead of the animal that is hunting you, you're ahead enough to stop full speed movement, but you're not so far ahead that you can stop movement all together. And that boys and girls, is Life 101. Ya gotta keep moving. You don't gotta keep running, but you gotta keep moving forward.

Unless of course the animal that is hunting you is something the size of frikkin Kong or Godzilla, okay then yeah, you might need to adjust for scale-to-size ratio.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

I don't really recall my height, or even financial situation being a factor in being rejected.

I've been to speed dating events, where not a single woman asked me about what car I drive or my living situation. They all ask about my job, which is decent but not 'impressive'. I tend to talk more about the hobbies and activities I enjoy, and tend to ask them about the hobbies and things they enjoy.

Every single woman ticked 'no' for me.

So, just to clarify; I could be a home-owner with an Audi in the drive and an 11" ****, and most people wouldn't know it. When a woman at a bar rejects me, she has no idea of any of that, or when someone swipes left on a dating app. Sadly, being ugly or 'aesthetically challenged' is the biggest drawback a man can have, over height or status.

 

[okidoke]

…….Sadly, being ugly or 'aesthetically challenged' is the biggest drawback a man can have……

Or woman. I believe that the person doing the rejecting is simply thinking “I can find someone more to my liking than this person.” And I think pretty much everyone does that. Even you.

 

[ardour]

I don't really recall my height, or even financial situation being a factor in being rejected.

I've been to speed dating events, where not a single woman asked me about what car I drive or my living situation. They all ask about my job, which is decent but not 'impressive'. I tend to talk more about the hobbies and activities I enjoy, and tend to ask them about the hobbies and things they enjoy.

Every single woman ticked 'no' for me.

So, just to clarify; I could be a home-owner with an Audi in the drive and an 11" ****, and most people wouldn't know it. When a woman at a bar rejects me, she has no idea of any of that, or when someone swipes left on a dating app. Sadly, being ugly or 'aesthetically challenged' is the biggest drawback a man can have, over height or status.

The status-maxing advice seems to assume a man has an existing wide social circle where women would notice these things. But those men tend not to struggle as much anyway.