What's a painful truth you've had to swallow?

[user 191138]

That's too mature for me to understand.

Have had to just live with it since figuring it out

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I am not a particularly remarkable person. I am no longer generally well received by family, a good portion of chance encounters in public, or even old friends. I am vainglorious in prose. I am self-engrossed and am prone towards a tendency of a perpetual underlying feeling of disappointment, despondency, and despair; of which, the fact is rarely an acceptable excuse for anything, and of which sympathy of, is perhaps equally is harmful as the scorn it often gathers for itself. I think far too highly of myself where I often ought not to, and far to lowly of those, where I ought not to. I think far too lowly of myself, where I perhaps ought not to.

And they don't make pants that aren't tight in the crotch and legs anymore, and there is almost nothing I can do about it, in the short term, and perhaps nothing I can do about it, in the long term.

If real men wear skirts, I am neither Scottish, nor a man.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I am not a particularly remarkable person

Well, I have always thought you were a remarkable person.

And they don't make pants that aren't tight in the crotch and legs anymore, and there is almost nothing I can do about it, in the short term, and perhaps nothing I can do about it, in the long term.

Time to learn to sew...

 

[Hoarse Whisperer]

I took the hard lesson that age WILL catch up to me eventually. My delusions of durability were shattered in 2018 when I attempted to fly and realized I had no wings while sitting on top of a ladder. I must have flown too close to the sun- or florescent lights. Regardless my invulnerability was proven otherwise when the cement floor broke my fall. Now I work to maintain what I have physically lest I follow in the staggering footsteps of my recent ancestors.

 

[user 191197]

It's not possible to climb up the social ladder by working hard or smart, the way you are born dictates the rest of your life. If you are born poor you will stay poor no matter what, thanks to the Matthew effect. All attempts are in vain, death is the only way out.

 

[TheSkaFish]

It's not possible to climb up the social ladder by working hard or smart, the way you are born dictates the rest of your life. If you are born poor you will stay poor no matter what, thanks to the Matthew effect. All attempts are in vain, death is the only way out.

Well, I think the Matthew effect is more about probability than certainty - like the higher you start out as, the more it will open up opportunities for you.
The more chances you can take, the more you're in a position to try different things and take risks. You can bet bigger because you can stand more to lose.
Also, you stand a better chance of mingling with people who can give you more opportunties.
You're exposed more to things which give you greater chance of success, and it tips the odds more in your favor that you'll succeed.
And the lower you start out as, the harder it will be to get opportunities.
Your probability is higher or lower, respectively.

But still, yeah. Ever since I was a little kid, I've always been afraid of exactly this.
I've never been happy with my default settings, so it's always been so important to me to escape.
And I hate, I mean HATE with a passion, being seen as a loser, and feeling like a loser myself.
I automatically hate any person or thing that makes me feel inferior.
But at the same time I've always feared that I'm just inherently not good enough, as evidenced by my attempts to do pretty much anything.

I don't want to be a negative influence on you or anyone else though.
I don't want to get anyone else to think even more negatively, I don't want to discourage anyone.
So I'll just say that I can relate to what you're saying and it's been a lifelong problem for me.
I struggle with negative self-belief especially in regards to talent, and the fact that I am only interested in creative things. I appreciate practical things and that SOMEONE knows how to do them - like I'm glad I have this computer to type on right now. But I'm just not particularly driven to become some kind of practical expert, nor do I think I have the knack.
I want something more out of life than just to be some normal guy, and come home and watch the game or TV/movies with a beer on the couch, or to live vicariously through pro athletes/musicians/other celebrities, or to play golf or do other things casually (aka badly), or whatever else normal people do.

I do hope you manage to find a way out though.
I think every decent person deserves happiness in life.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I am not a particularly remarkable person. I am no longer generally well received by family, a good portion of chance encounters in public, or even old friends. I am vainglorious in prose. I am self-engrossed and am prone towards a tendency of a perpetual underlying feeling of disappointment, despondency, and despair; of which, the fact is rarely an acceptable excuse for anything, and of which sympathy of, is perhaps equally is harmful as the scorn it often gathers for itself. I think far too highly of myself where I often ought not to, and far to lowly of those, where I ought not to. I think far too lowly of myself, where I perhaps ought not to.

Story of my life man. I could have said the same thing myself.

And they don't make pants that aren't tight in the crotch and legs anymore, and there is almost nothing I can do about it, in the short term, and perhaps nothing I can do about it, in the long term.

I know! Again I have the same dilemma. I've been looking for loose-fitting track pants to wear casually around the house...but they're nowhere to be found. I've never been into the tight pants thing either.

If real men wear skirts, I am neither Scottish, nor a man.

Apparently I have, "a wee bit" they might say. But probably not enough to justify going around in a kilt and packing a broadsword

 

[147]

That I have wasted many years of my life doing what other people wanted me to do and hating it because it wasn't 'me.'

This

 

[Ginock]

That I need to get out of my own way and the world does not revolve around me.

I never thought of myself as a selfish or self-involved person and I don't think I was but I do remember my therapist bringing this up to me in a session and it always stuck with me. She was right and I try to live by that rule. I sometimes fail but I will always try.

 

[Unsigned]

That I will be single the rest of my life.
Was discussing this with my cousin today (he will almost certainly always be alone too).
It's better to be alone (as miserable as it is sometimes) than to care about a female who will never care about you.
I'll still complain about it from time to time.
But I know that deep down I am better off this way.